The Dog Is Suspicious of My Baby Bump

Bonjour!

It’s dachshund takeover week at Joie de Vivre! This week’s blog post is brought to you by Le Chien, miniature dachshund extraordinaire, who has noticed some, erm, “changes” around la maison during my pregnancy.

Check out these tips for introducing your dachshund (or any other suspicious pet) to a new bébé!

~~~

Something is going on, people. The last six months chez moi have been a flurry of activity, and not all centered on me, the king of the castle. This does not bode well for me (le sigh).

There is new furniture in a formerly empty bedroom, now called a “nursery.” There are new toys in the dining room, and these toys are apparently not pour moi. What fresh hell is this?!

There is a new car in the garage. It smells funny and is a hybrid, which seems to really please my dog mama and dad (um, okay guys, we get it – you care about the environment). But I got a new car crate and a new car toy, so it’s not all bad (le wink).

And my dog mama is getting awfully fat. I mean, her stomach is huge now. She waddles around in stretchy pants. She eats lots of graham crackers. Far be it for me to judge, but she also spends a lot of time being sick and we take lots of walkies, so what gives?

Sacré bleu! I am not overly pleased with these developments.

I am anything if not observant and diligent. In fact, I’m positively famous for being sensitive, surly, and stubborn. Below is a scrapbook documenting my suspicions from recent weeks.

Week 20: There is a small bump here, but I can still lay on you relatively unimpeded. You keep muttering about being “halfway through the pregnancy already!”

Week 22: I need you to know that I know something is going on while I press on your uterus, which I assume feels great for you. You sigh and adjust.

Week 25: Don’t take this the wrong way, mama, but I’m running out of lap here! You sigh some more and pat my head.

Week 26: Luckily, I am a long dog with a long back, so I can stretch out over this silly bump that keeps getting bigger for some reason. Probably will not be a problem for me. You laugh in my face and say I “have no idea what’s coming.”

Week 31: Nom de dieu! This is getting out of hand! Why is your bump so huge now?? Again with the laughing in my face.

Week 34: Okay, that’s it. What is happening?? I can barely perch atop the bump now. You claim this is “uncomfortable.”

How would you help a pet or other family member adjust to a life change?

Merci for reading and please subscribe and share!

À votre santé,

Katie